Can You Explain Time Signatures In Plain English? Options

[better]

Everytime I try to learn about it (or most music theory) the person or thing I'm reading gets off on an 8 hour tangent and doesn't explain it in plain, simple English. (Why it so hard to explain it as- 1-2-3-4? Without getting off subject?)

[Berhu N°2]

Hello here, hello better.
In addition to deaconblue's info:
1- About the lower figure which stands for a duration value, and the upper for how many notes of this value per mesure: as i'm looking for appropriate english terminology (i'm french), i run into this page, which explains the topic.
2- you have to get clear about the difference between binary and ternary. I do not speak about the whole measure but about the way each beat is sliced. Generally, nowadays, time signature with 8 as lower figure goes with a ternary beat.

For instance 2/4 is a two beats mesure, each beat (quarternote) being normally split in 2 eighth notes or 4 sixteenth notes, which is hence binary. On the other hand, 6/8 is also a two beats measure, but each beat is composed of 3 8th, instead of 2.
So 2/4 goes |1&2&|1&2&|... and 6/8 goes |1&&2&&|1&&2&&|...
So (to refine deaconblue's example about 4 beats measures) 4/4 (1&2&3&4&) is rock (Johnny B Goode), 12/8 (1&&2&&3&&4&&) is blues "shuffle" (Sweet Home Chicago).

This is the basics...Hope it helps

PS: 4th note, 8th note and 16th note are recent american words, replacing the british crotchet, quaver and semi-quaver.
PPS: Please note that the above example in point 2 does not apply to jazz swing transcription, which is a special case.
PPPS: Please note also that the "/" when we write 2/4 doesn't exist in fact. (2/4 is 0.5, nothing to do with the duration of two 8th notes )

Why it so hard to explain it as- 1-2-3-4?

Because, as you see, it's not only a matter of 1-2-3-4. It is a bit deeper, like anything that come from far in the past (The first attempt in finding a common music writing in western Europe started a thousand years ago). Also because though it might be a very subtle and sophisticated "western" tool, it remains inapropriate if not traitor when it deals with music from other cultures. (The concept of "beat" is inappropriate, for instance, for many musics, because much too coarse, much too simple).

And moreover, it's the way you play the beat & subdivisions that make people know that you come from Bagdad, Bahia, Beijin, Belfast, Bucarest, Calcutta, Chicago of the 20's OR of the 60's, Hanoi, Kinshassa, Madrid, Marrakech, Paris, Vienna of the 19th century, etc..., etc... , though it might be transcribed the same way.
Or that you come from nowhere hahahahaha.
Did i manage to get you lost, here???